SMACKDOWN RESULTS

The Shield opened the show. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose are still coming out through the crowd as a team. Ambrose had the mic first. He called Triple H "kiddo" and said they're not waiting for him to play his cards, they're flipping the table and coming for his throat. Also, he's going to shut down the Seth Rollins business for good. Reigns went after Randy Orton when he got on the mic, calling Orton the "ass of WWE" and saying he's a spoiled kid thanks to his "daddy, Triple H". He said maybe both guys will beat Orton to the WWE title. After they cut promos, Triple H came on the Titantron and said there's only one qualifying spot available for them. He flipped a coin and said Ambrose got the opportunity to qualify tonight. He'll wrestle Bray Wyatt in the main event. Reigns was banned from ringside but so was The Wyatt Family. Ambrose was then banned from ringside for Reigns' match, which was next. Trips did a really bad Bad News Barrett impersonation.

- Bad News Barrett then made his way out. The match got underway and Roman was in control early. Barrett took over with power based offense of the kick-punch variety until Reigns made a comeback. Barrett took the Superman punch, then 3MB showed up. Reigns literally just laughed at this. The jobbers got the advantage at first but Roman quickly just tossed all of them. That includes a Spear for Drew McIntyre, throwing Jinder Mahal over the announce table, and Spearing Heath Slater in mid-air after Heath jumped off the steps.

- Erick Rowan vs. Jey Uso was next. There was some sort of weird glitch, at least on my TV. They played Uso's entrance, then went to commercial, then came back and repeated the process. That was really odd. Anyway, it was a short match that Rowan won with a sidewalk slam.

- Bo Dallas was out next. R-Truth was his opponent. Truth came out working the "what's up" schtick. So Bo danced along and then took the mic and mimmicked Truth by saying "Green Bay ... what's going on?!?" Big pop for that. The announcers acknowledged Dallas' record so far, which stood at 6-0 heading into this match. Dallas went over with the Running BoDog. JBL during the finishing sequence: "7 and Bo! 7 and Bo! The streak's alive!" He shook Truth's hand and gave him a hug after the match. Truth, like all those before him, had no clue how to react.

- Cesaro and Paul Heyman were in the ring. Cesaro was speaking in German, and Heyman was translating for him. Cesaro's fists were taped up and he revealed he wasn't here to wrestle, he was here to FIGHT against Sheamus "the shameless", who brings wrestling moves to fights. Finally, Sheamus came out and it was time to get busy. They had a very physical, though somewhat plodding match. It was a brawl between two powerful men who just wanted to beat the shit out of each other. At one point, Sheamus went all Hulk Hogan and hulked up by no selling Cesaro's offense to make a comeback. He got most of his major spots in but ultimately lost when Cesaro snagged a roll up with a hand full of tights.

- Bray Wyatt cut a promo. He said he dreamed about happiness as a child. But then he woke up and he realized that he was still stuck in the prison that is the world, just like the rest of us. That was until he met "her", and she told him he could achieve everything he ever dreamed of and he would change the world. "They will bow to you, boy". He went on to talk about the WWE world heavyweight championship as if it would be his saving grace. Dean Ambrose is in the way and those who stand in his way get burned. Except John Cena, of course.

- Fandango was out with Layla. They replayed Summer Rae attacking Layla with milk, then showed Layla attacking Summer with kitty litter and some milk of her own. Fandango's opponent was Adam Rose, who Kevin Dunn apparently didn't bury enough to keep off SmackDown. Fandango had control early but Rose quickly turned it around and won with the Party Foul. He danced out of there fairly quickly but one of the Rosebuds stayed behind dressed up a little bit like the Gobbledy Gooker. Themask came off and it was revealed to be Summer. The ladies brawled while Fandango tried to separate the two. He finally did and no in the crowd knew who to cheer.

Abbreviated from here on out. Apologies, Cagesiders.

- Big E def. Jack Swagger with the Big Ending. Lana got involved.

- Alicia Fox def. Aksana in a short match. Aksana got in her offense early but was defeated shortly after the comeback. Fox celebrated big after winning.

- Bray Wyatt def. Dean Ambrose to advance to the Money in the Bank ladder match for the WWE world heavyweight title. Seth Rollins distracted Ambrose and led him right into Sister Abigail.

End.

- The Shield opened the show. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose are still coming out through the crowd as a team. Ambrose had the mic first. He called Triple H "kiddo" and said they're not waiting for him to play his cards, they're flipping the table and coming for his throat. Also, he's going to shut down the Seth Rollins business for good. Reigns went after Randy Orton when he got on the mic, calling Orton the "ass of WWE" and saying he's a spoiled kid thanks to his "daddy, Triple H". He said maybe both guys will beat Orton to the WWE title. After they cut promos, Triple H came on the Titantron and said there's only one qualifying spot available for them. He flipped a coin and said Ambrose got the opportunity to qualify tonight. He'll wrestle Bray Wyatt in the main event. Reigns was banned from ringside but so was The Wyatt Family. Ambrose was then banned from ringside for Reigns' match, which was next. Trips did a really bad Bad News Barrett impersonation.

- Bad News Barrett then made his way out. The match got underway and Roman was in control early. Barrett took over with power based offense of the kick-punch variety until Reigns made a comeback. Barrett took the Superman punch, then 3MB showed up. Reigns literally just laughed at this. The jobbers got the advantage at first but Roman quickly just tossed all of them. That includes a Spear for Drew McIntyre, throwing Jinder Mahal over the announce table, and Spearing Heath Slater in mid-air after Heath jumped off the steps.

- Erick Rowan vs. Jey Uso was next. There was some sort of weird glitch, at least on my TV. They played Uso's entrance, then went to commercial, then came back and repeated the process. That was really odd. Anyway, it was a short match that Rowan won with a sidewalk slam.

- Bo Dallas was out next. R-Truth was his opponent. Truth came out working the "what's up" schtick. So Bo danced along and then took the mic and mimmicked Truth by saying "Green Bay ... what's going on?!?" Big pop for that. The announcers acknowledged Dallas' record so far, which stood at 6-0 heading into this match. Dallas went over with the Running BoDog. JBL during the finishing sequence: "7 and Bo! 7 and Bo! The streak's alive!" He shook Truth's hand and gave him a hug after the match. Truth, like all those before him, had no clue how to react.

- Cesaro and Paul Heyman were in the ring. Cesaro was speaking in German, and Heyman was translating for him. Cesaro's fists were taped up and he revealed he wasn't here to wrestle, he was here to FIGHT against Sheamus "the shameless", who brings wrestling moves to fights. Finally, Sheamus came out and it was time to get busy. They had a very physical, though somewhat plodding match. It was a brawl between two powerful men who just wanted to beat the shit out of each other. At one point, Sheamus went all Hulk Hogan and hulked up by no selling Cesaro's offense to make a comeback. He got most of his major spots in but ultimately lost when Cesaro snagged a roll up with a hand full of tights.

- Bray Wyatt cut a promo. He said he dreamed about happiness as a child. But then he woke up and he realized that he was still stuck in the prison that is the world, just like the rest of us. That was until he met "her", and she told him he could achieve everything he ever dreamed of and he would change the world. "They will bow to you, boy". He went on to talk about the WWE world heavyweight championship as if it would be his saving grace. Dean Ambrose is in the way and those who stand in his way get burned. Except John Cena, of course.

- Fandango was out with Layla. They replayed Summer Rae attacking Layla with milk, then showed Layla attacking Summer with kitty litter and some milk of her own. Fandango's opponent was Adam Rose, who Kevin Dunn apparently didn't bury enough to keep off SmackDown. Fandango had control early but Rose quickly turned it around and won with the Party Foul. He danced out of there fairly quickly but one of the Rosebuds stayed behind dressed up a little bit like the Gobbledy Gooker. Themask came off and it was revealed to be Summer. The ladies brawled while Fandango tried to separate the two. He finally did and no in the crowd knew who to cheer.

Abbreviated from here on out. Apologies, Cagesiders.

- Big E def. Jack Swagger with the Big Ending. Lana got involved.

- Alicia Fox def. Aksana in a short match. Aksana got in her offense early but was defeated shortly after the comeback. Fox celebrated big after winning.

- Bray Wyatt def. Dean Ambrose to advance to the Money in the Bank ladder match for the WWE world heavyweight title. Seth Rollins distracted Ambrose and led him right into Sister Abigail.

End.